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Speak about a loaded theme that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from ancient times. Affairs can be filled with troubles, cause misery, and other problems. Plus you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, funds, age dissimilarity, religious background, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.

For the intention of this post I will classify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married women.

Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking affairs. I am conserned mainly though it is only the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several explanations I have run across.

Naturally we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us flee the world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people are able to switch the longing on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos people has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public also. So why, what is the mechanism?

Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your family or anybody else? You will need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.

No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major group, enormous actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to look after. Your money are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.

Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.

Avoidance, sadly this is a frequent cause I fear. One or the other, usually the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a large humber of reasons. As a man I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.

Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is disappeared, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed apart, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.

The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.

There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.